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Seating plan hints and etiquette
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Contents
Do I really need assigned seating?
Assigning seats or tables?
Seating arrangements
Table size, shape and layout
RSVP etiquette
Assigning seats
Seating charts, escort cards, table number cards and place cards
Seating chart
Escort cards
Table number cards
Place cards
Table names
Table decorations
Special needs
Wedding seating plans
Wedding top table
Assessing your seating plan
Seating plan software
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Do I really need assigned seating?
Shouldn’t guests choose where they sit? After all we are all adults! In fact a YouGov survey in February 2006 shows that a overwhelming 84% of wedding guests prefer assigned seating.
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preferred being assigned to a specific seat
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51%
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preferred being assigned to a table (can choose any seat)
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33%
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free for all - no seats or tables assigned
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13%
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Does not apply, do not/ would not attend a wedding reception
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3%
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The results were particularly clear for guests aged over 50, only 8% of whom preferred unassigned seating.
Unassigned
seating sounds great in theory and it is certainly one less chore for
the organizer. Unfortunately it rarely works out so well in practice.
- There may be an unseemly rush for the ‘good’ seats.
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It will take a lot longer to get guests seated. They may still be milling around while the food is being served.
- Your beautiful decor will be spoilt by people leaving their coats on chairs to reserve them.
- The last few guests end up walking around looking for seats, a bit like the unpopular kid at school lunch.
- Couples
can get split up. It is not unknown for guests to end up eating outside
the venue because they couldn’t get a seat together at a table.
- Elderly relatives may end up seated where they can’t see or hear anything.
- If people turn up uninvited (common in some cultures) they may take seats intended for your invited guests.
It can be a pretty miserable experience for guests:
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“I hate
going to a wedding where you have to find a table where all your
friends and you can sit... or god forbid you are the people who know
the couple but no one else... that is so horrible... even if you are
assigned a table you still have to find a place to sit at it... yuck.
That is just my opinion... can you tell I have been in this spot a time
or two. I have a lot of friends that I have known since I was in grade
school, but we went to different schools always, and never had the same
group of friends... at their weddings there I was all alone, and no
assigned seats, you feel like you are standing there and everyone is
staring at you as you try to find what looks like a table of amiable
people, and you end up sitting at the table with great aunt lucy
because that is all that is left, and she tells you crazy stories that
you never wanted to know... yikes... assigned seating is totally the
way to go! Just from experience.” Kim on the brides.com discussion board
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The
larger the event, the bigger the risk you are taking with unassigned
seating. In truth, organizers shy away from assigned seating mostly
because of the time involved in assigning seats or tables. But it
doesn’t have to be a huge chore if you use appropriate seating assignment software.
If
you still decide to go for unassigned seating then you don’t need to
read any further on this site. Just make sure you have more chairs than
guests and good luck!
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Assigning seats or tables?
Guests
can be assigned to a table (where they can choose any seat) or assigned
to a specific seat. We don’t have exact figures, but it seems that
assigning tables is probably more common in the USA and assigning seats
is more common in Europe. Both approaches are valid and which you
choose is a matter of personal preference.
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seat assignment
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table assignment
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you can ensure that speakers and VIP guests are seated in the most appropriate seats
makes it easier for waiting staff to deliver meals to specific guests
more popular with guests according to a survey
is a good opportunity for the organizer to do some matchmaking!
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is slightly less work for the organizer
does not require place cards
guests have some choice who they sit next to
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Seating arrangements
You
might want to put people next to people they know, or you might want to
split them up a bit so they meet new people. But try to put each person
next to at least one person they already know. People are more likely
to get on well if they are similar ages or have similar interests. It
might not be a good idea to put your ’alternative lifestyle’ friend
with the piercings and tattoos next to your 80-year-old grandmother. A
little common sense goes a long way.
Generally
you should try to put families together and work colleagues together.
But if you know people don't get on, try seating them separately. It is
worth breaking with tradition to have a stress free event.
Avoid
mixing age groups too much. Young children should be seated with their
parents. Older children can be seated with their parents, or on a table
together.
Try
to create balanced tables, with even numbers of males and females. It
is traditional to alternate male-female-male-female guests in some
cultures. Some business dinners are seated male-male-female-female for
variety.
If it is a group of people that know each other well you could try splitting up married couples for extra variety.
Try
to avoid putting guests on the same table as ex-partners, unless you
are sure this is OK. Remember that every room has 4 corners!
Resist
the temptation to have a ‘leftovers’ table of all the people who didn’t
fit on other tables. It is probably better to distribute such guests
evenly.
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Table size, shape and layout
You
might want all the tables to be same size and shape or you might want
to vary them. Find out what sizes and shapes are available.
The
figures below give you a rough idea of the venue size required,
depending on the number of guests and the type of seating. Note that it
doesn’t allow for dance floors and other unused space.
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seating type
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ideal space per guest
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minimum space per guest
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ft^2
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m^2
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ft^2
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m^2
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all standing
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7
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0.7
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5
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0.5
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all seated, rectangular tables
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11
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1
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8
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0.7
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all seated, circular tables
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14
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1.3
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11
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1
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all seated, church seating (in rows, no tables)
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8
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0.7
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6
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0.6
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Recommended space per guest
Example:
a room that is 10m x 10m = 100 sq m will hold a maximum of
approximately: 200 standing guests, 140 guests at rectangular tables,
100 guests at circular tables and 176 guests seated in rows.
The image below gives you a rough guide for minimum table spacing.
Recommended minimum table spacing
Make
sure the tables are placed so that serving staff have easy access.
Don't place a table blocking a door, especially a fire escape. If you
have a large venue for the number of guests you may want to put all the
tables in one corner to avoid the venue feeling empty.
10
is a good number of seats for a circular table. If you have more than
this not all the guests on a table will be able to see/speak to each
other. If you have less than this you may have problems fitting all the
tables into the venue. The figures below give you a rough idea of the
number of guests you can fit on a circular table:
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circular table diameter
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seats
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ideal
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maximum
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4 ft / 1.22 m
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7
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8
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5 ft/ 1.52 m
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8
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10
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6 ft / 1.83 m
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10
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12
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7 ft / 2.13 m
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12
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14
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8 ft / 2.4 m
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13
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16
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Recommended circular table seating capacities
(based on 1.9 ft and 1.6 ft circumference per
guest for ideal and maximum respectively, guests in wheelchairs may
need additional space)
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RSVP etiquette
Before
you can arrange your seating plan you need to know how many guests are
coming. You can confirm numbers by sending out RSVPs. Typically RSVPs
are sent out at least a month before the event. Your RSVP should make
clear:
- the nature and location, date and time of the event
- who is invited (are children invited?)
- a deadline for accepting (expecting people to reply within a week is not unreasonable)
- how they can accept or decline (e.g. telephone, letter or email)
- (optional) choice of meal
RSVP cards often include a space for the guest to fill-in and return.
You
should always include a date by which people must reply, otherwise some
people may decide to leave it to the day before the event. Chase up
stragglers with a phone call once the reply deadline has expired.
If
it is an important event and you want to warn people to keep the date
free long before you send out RSVPs, you can send ‘save the date’ cards.
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Assigning seats
If
you are having speeches or announcements, make sure the people giving
them are seated where they won't have their back to anyone.
Try
to place pregnant, elderly and disabled guests and guests with small
children where they have easy access to toilets and other facilities.
Don’t seat them at tables that are going to be removed to make space
after the meal.
Older
guests will generally have poorer hearing and eyesight. Try to put them
where they can see and hear any speeches. Do not put them next to loud
music, they won’t appreciate it. Put children’s tables in the least
favourable locations, they have better hearing and won’t be too
interested in the speeches anyway.
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Seating charts, escort cards, table numbers and place cards
Guests
will need to know which table they are seated at so they don’t have to
walk around every table to find their place. This is usually achieved
by displaying a seating chart or escort cards prominently at the
entrance to the venue.
Table
number cards are placed on tables to display the number or name of the
table. If you have a large number of tables you might also want to
display a floor plan to show where the tables are.
Floor plan (created by PerfectTablePlan)
Place cards are placed at each setting to ensure guests sit in the correct seats.
If you have assigned guests to seats you will need:
- seating chart + table number cards + place cards; or
- escort cards + table number cards + place cards
If you have assigned guests to tables you will need:
- seating chart + table number cards; or
- escort cards + table number cards
These
can be as simple or elaborate as you like. More important is that you
have a good table plan that seats the right people together.
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Seating chart
A
seating chart shows each guest which table they are seated at. Whether
you prefer a seating chart or escort cards is a matter of personal
preference. Seating charts are easier to display. They can also be
signed by your guests and framed to make a nice memento of the
occasion.
The
seating chart can either list guests by table or alphabetically by
name. Listing by table is more common in the UK and shows who else is
on the same table. Listing by guest name is more common in the USA and
makes it a little easier to find your table, especially at a large
event.
A seating chart listing guests by table (created by PerfectTablePlan)
A seating chart listing guests by name (created by PerfectTablePlan)
Whether
to display a plain and simple seating chart or a highly
decorative/artistic one is very much a matter of personal preference.
If you choose an artistic font for your seating chart (e.g. script or gothic), make sure it is readable by all your guests.
Many hotels will have an easel you can use to display your seating chart.
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Escort cards
Escort
card show the name/number of the table a guest is seated at. It is
usually inside a small envelope with the guest’s name written on the
outside. You can also use a blank business card and write the name on
one side and the table number on the other. Whether you prefer a
seating chart or escort cards is a matter of personal preference.
Escort cards can be changed up to the last minute, whereas a seating
chart may need to be printed days or weeks in advance.
Escort cards can be as artistic or as plain as you like. If you choose an artistic font for your seating chart or cards (e.g. script or gothic), make sure it is readable by all your guests.
Escort cards are normally placed on a table, in alphabetical order, at the entrance to the venue.
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Table number cards
Table
number cards are placed on tables to display the table name or number.
They should be large enough to read without having to walk right up to
the table.
Table
number cards are usually large tent fold cards, or flat cards in a
holder. Make sure they aren’t so tall that they prevent guests seeing
each other over the table.
If you have decided to name your tables you can theme the table number cards appropriately.
You
can use ‘hearts’ playing cards for inexpensive table number markers,
i.e. Ace of hearts for table 1, two of hearts for table 2 etc.
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Place cards
Place
cards are placed at each place setting to ensure guests sit in the
correct seats. They are only required if you have assigned guests to
seats (not tables). If you are using tent-fold cards, write the guest’s
name on both sides so that other guests on the table can also read it.
Usually
place card names will be in the format “Mr John Smith”, but you can use
“John Smith” or “Mr J. Smith” depending on the level of formality you
feel happy with. Using just the first name is obviously not recommended
if there is more than one person with the same first name. Guest names
can also be written on personalised favours or menus instead of using
place cards.
Place
cards can be bought from wedding suppliers and some stationery
suppliers. You can either write them by hand yourself, employ a
calligrapher to do it for you or print them on the computer. If you are
printing them on the computer we recommend you buy sheets of press out place cards.
Printing place cards from PerfectTablePlan
If you use an artistic font for your place cards (e.g. script or gothic), make sure it is readable by all your guests.
Place
cards can be a useful way to communicate to the catering staff which
meals people have ordered. E.g. add a red ribbon or dot to the place
card for beef and a blue ribbon or dot for fish.
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Table name cards
If
you are feeling creative you can give tables names instead of numbers.
This is very common for weddings. Numbered tables are less work and
easier to find if they are laid out logically. Named tables add a bit
more atmosphere and are useful if you are worried about guests being
offended about not being seated on “table 1”.
Possible table naming themes include:
- flowers (e.g. roses)
- gemstones
- countries/towns
- colours
- actors/films/TV programs
- bands/songs
- cocktails/whiskies/wines
- sweets (=candies)
- animals/birds/butterflies
- sports teams
- dances
- Disney characters
- a word or phrase in different languages (such as ‘I love you’)
- famous romantic couples
- something appropriate to the number of tables, e.g. the names of the 7 seas or 7 dwarves for 7 tables
- cars/motorbikes
- something related to your hobbies/interests
You can also liven up numbers, for example include a picture of the hosts at age 1 on table 1, at age 2 on table 2 etc.
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Table decorations
Besides cutlery, crockery and glasses, items on the table can include:
- a table centrepiece (usually one or more of: flowers, candles or balloons)
- table glitter
- favours
- a table number card (often in a card holder)
- place cards
- menus
- disposable cameras
It
is a good idea to lay it all out on an appropriate size table, before
the big day, to make sure it doesn’t look cluttered. You may be able to
combine table cards, menus and/or favours into one item to save space
and money.
Make sure any flowers, table cards or other displays on the table aren’t so large that they prevent guests seeing each other.
If
you are putting people who don't know each other together, it may be a
good idea to provide them with a quiz or some other form of 'ice
breaker'.
Give
each child a ‘goody bag’ to keep them amused. This can contains
balloons, pencils and paper, small toy etc. It doesn’t have to be
expensive. Don’t give them anything that can cause stains or permanent
marks!
Bubble blowing kits can be fun but you may end up with soapy tasting food and a slippery dance floor.
Disposable
cameras can be a cheap and fun way to record an event. But make sure
you leave clear instructions that you want guests to finish the film
(you don’t want 10 half-finished films) and what you want them to do
with the camera afterward. You might also need to remind people to use
the flash indoors.
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Special needs
Make
sure you find out and notify the caterers of dietary preferences, e.g.
vegetarian, kosher, halal, nut allergies and gluten intolerance.
Order high chairs, or other appropriate seats, for small children.
Inform the caterers of any guests in wheelchairs who won’t require seats.
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wedding seating plans
A
typical wedding seating plan is to have the wedding party on a head
table (with seats down one side) facing all the other guests seated on
circular tables:
A typical wedding seating plan (created by PerfectTablePlan)
If
it won’t cause friction try to seat members of the bride and groom’s
families on tables together, it is their best chance to get to know
each other.
The wedding party table should be placed where the bride and groom can see (and be seen by) as many guests as possible.
Remember
that once the main wedding meal (the 'wedding breakfast') commences the
bride may have taken the name of the groom. Make sure that your seating
chart, place cards etc take account of this.
If
you have a number of paid attendees you intend to feed, e.g.
photographer, videographer etc., you may want to assign them to a
separate table.
Don’t forget to leave room for cake and gift tables.
Note
that wedding etiquette varies between countries and cultures and you
will have to tailor your wedding seating plan accordingly.
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Wedding top table
The wedding party is usually seated at a long table with seats down one side. This is called the ‘top table’ or ‘head table’.
Who
to put on the top table can be a sensitive issue, especially if the
parents of the bride or groom have divorced and remarried. Make
sure you resolve any such issues long before the wedding day.
There are many different ways to organize a wedding top table, but traditionally:
- The groom sits to the right of the bride.
- Places alternate male-female
- Partners of the Best man and Chief bridesmaid sit at other tables.
A typical example is shown below, but you should do what feels right for you.
A typical wedding top table (created by PerfectTablePlan)
For a second marriage you may wish to seat children of the first marriage on the top table.
If
the parents of the bride or groom have divorced and remarried it
probably isn't a good idea to put them and their new partners together
on the top table. One solution is to invite some family of the
step-parent and put them together on a separate table near the top
table.
If
you are worried that someone might feel left out because they aren’t on
the top table, ask them to “host” one of the other tables. Make it
clear who is hosting each table on the seating chart. This will help
them to feel involved.
If the parents of the bride and groom are not in the wedding party they should be seated on the table nearest the top table.
It
is becoming fashionable in some quarters to have the bride and groom at
their own table (for example David and Victoria Beckham). This is also
referred to as a “sweetheart table”. This can be useful for bypassing
issues about who should be on the top table.
Some
couples opt not to have a top table at all, but to have two free seats
at each table so they can mingle during the meal. This is a nice idea,
but it does mean that two guests at each table will be seated next
to empty seats for much of the reception.
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Assessing your seating plan
Don’t be a slave to tradition. Decide what you want for your event and create your table plan accordingly.
It
is probably a good idea to show your table plan to a few key guests to
ensure that it is OK and you haven't forgotten anything. Make sure you
have enough time to take account of their suggestions. Don't show
everyone, unless you want to make your life difficult.
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Seating plan software
The
traditional approach to planning seating arrangements is to write down
guests’ names on scraps of paper and move these around. But this is
time consuming and error prone. Cutting and pasting into a spreadsheet
is little better. Given that there are more ways of seating 25 guests
in 25 seats than there are grains of sand in the whole world it is
little wonder that creating a table plan ‘by hand’ is such a headache.
The old-fashioned approach to seating plans.
The good news is that inexpensive table planner software is available in the form of PerfectTablePlan. PerfectTablePlan allows you to:
- assign guests to the right seats automatically with a single mouse click
- fine tune seating arrangements with drag and drop
- experiment with different table sizes, shapes and layouts
- track RSVPs and meal choices
- print floor plans and charts
- ensure that you haven’t forgotten anyone
- handle last minute changes
And all this from only $29.95/£19.95/€22.95!
PerfectTablePlan is available for Windows and Macintosh. Why not download a free trial now?
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